Emotional Health and Well-Being

Over the last couple of years, Margaret and I have had an ongoing discussion over the merits of home schooling vs. sending our children to public or private school.

It feels like we've been to the circus and back about a dozen times with this decision, and though we're leaning towards home-based learning for our boys, we continue to have moments of uncertainty.

Updated on July 3, 2009

Several years ago, I was fortunate to meet a lady named Deborah at a fasting clinic in northern California. I had several conversations with Deborah over the course of a year, and what I remember most is that her kindness was amazingly genuine - the feeling for me was that she had done a lot of inner work to identify the life principles that she strove to live by.

Close friends and family members are typically surprised - shocked, even - when they learn that my wife Margaret and I have had a good number of fights over the years. At first glance, both of us are generally viewed as being kind, thoughtful, and maybe even a bit shy. So jaws tend to drop when people find out that we're far from being the Cleavers.

Originally published on September 21, 2009

On an evening trip to the public library a few days ago, I was greeted by a friendly worker as I checked our family's books in. Though we had said hello many times before, on this particular evening, I could tell from the way that she was looking at me that she had something to say.

"You're friends with Dr. Lee, right?"

"Yes, I know Dr. Lee from when we were kids," I replied.

Updated on March 10, 2009

A few days ago, I was flipping through an Oprah magazine that my wife borrowed from our public library when I came across a short piece on forgiveness by playwright and actor Tyler Perry.

Here's the part that I felt a strong connection to:

I definitely agree that forgiveness is often more about freeing oneself from limiting, painful emotions than it is about releasing the person who hurt you from responsibility for their actions.

Many times the people who hurt others are so unconscious of their own inner processes that they will continue to behave in the same or similar ways throughout their lives. They are simply too damaged and too ignorant to be able to do what it takes to recover and become sane, caring human beings.

Late last year, I started playing tennis again after a hiatus of several years from regular play. It took me a few sessions to get my wind back, but all in all, it's been amazingly fun to be back out on the courts. I feel younger, stronger, and healthier than I have in several years.

As parents to two preschool boys, my wife and I are deeply concerned about our boys running into bullies at school. At the same time, we realize that bullying tends to stem from a lack of care and education at home, and that those who bully need as much compassionate guidance as those who are bullied.

Why do some men stray from their marriages, while others seem content to stay with one partner for life?

The answer may come from an unlikely source: the vole. A vole is a rodent, and it comes in several species. Prairie voles mate for life. Mountain voles do not. Research has shown that prairie and mountain voles have different versions, known as “alleles,” of a particular gene (AVPR1A).

In March of 2006, I received the following letter from someone who consulted with me for a skin condition:

Dear Dr. Kim,

I wondered if you would have any advice because I'm having a very hard time emotionally. I'm having a problem with low self esteem and self confidence, mainly because of my (health condition).

I don't have any friends or acquaintances (in my local area), and I've had a huge problem with loneliness over the past year.

I feel too embarrassed to meet other young people because of the (health condition), and I feel my emotional state has taken a large toll on me. It seems like a catch 22 situation.