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Cutting Ties With A Family Member
Posted by Dr. Ben Kim on Jul 02, 2015
A short while ago, I received the following note from a reader in Connecticut:
Dear Dr. Kim,
After suffering for days after another huge dust-up with my dad, I was googling words of comfort when I found your journal on the blow up you had with your father over home-schooling.
I related so much to you feeling helpless and at the mercy of a toxic, self-centered narcissist. This is how I have felt throughout most of my history with my dad.
To be honest, it was such a letdown when you concluded that you couldn't cut ties with him. I understand why you came to this conclusion but I believe my situation is different. I wish I could read about people who have actually cut ties with a toxic family member and have been healthier for it. Your dad - at least his temper tantrum came out of loving his grandkids.
All I am finding out there are stories of how people forgave and got back together. Can I really be the only daughter out here who feels mostly sadness and anger when she thinks about her dad? Am I the only one whose father makes a habit of emotionally abusing anyone who is culturally obligated to respect him?
Thanks for letting me vent!
I appreciate Ann writing in, and I am sharing her note here with hope that any of
you who have some thoughts for Ann will share via the comments section below. Thanks so much. - Ben Kim
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