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Emotional Health and Well-Being

What Does A Truly Good Friend Look Like?

I've always loved the Korean word for friendship - it's pronounced "oo jung." There was a time in my 20s when oojung was actually the bulk of my e-mail address, back when gmail didn't exist and most of us were at yahoo or hotmail.

More than ever, I find myself considering what constitutes a healthy friendship, for my own well-being, and also to do what I can to help our boys understand what a truly good friend looks like. Read more about What Does A Truly Good Friend Look Like?

 

Thoughts On Detaching From Ego And Walking In Peace

Originally published in October of 2012

As I approach the last few years of my fourth decade on planet earth, I find myself feeling grateful for some of the conclusions that I've been able to draw from various life experiences. One in particular that I try to hold close to my heart, especially in times of triumph and disaster, is this: Read more about Thoughts On Detaching From Ego And Walking In Peace

 

To Appear Tearful or About to Cry

In receiving a steady stream of questions from all over the globe, there are times when I notice developing trends in human health issues. Sleep deficiency from cell phone addiction is one that I noticed a few years ago. Today, I have this sense that depression has become the most worrisome health issue for those living in developed countries.

Some call it social media depression - feeling down about one's life because of constant exposure to flashes of happy moments on other people's Facebook or Instagram accounts. Read more about To Appear Tearful or About to Cry

 

Rejection

Originally published on August 17, 2010

I've come to believe that as parents, we often have far more to learn from our children than they do from us.

Our older son Joshua, now four and a half years old, is reserved, thoughtful, and gentle by disposition. These days, he lives to experience new and exciting things like riding the subway in Toronto for the first time, discovering the magic of helium balloons, and meeting new characters and worlds through trips to our local library. Read more about Rejection

 

The Magic of Untethering from My Cell Phone

Earlier this year, I decided to untether from my cell phone. I have a feeling this will rank among a few of the best decisions of my life when my time here is up.

Why untether? Primarily because on careful reflection, I concluded that having my iPhone on me for most of my waking hours was hurting my quality of life in a significant way. In constantly being available for the world to put me into reactive mode, spending my energy on issues that don't need my immediate attention right now or ever, I have far less capacity to be fully present in the moment. Read more about The Magic of Untethering from My Cell Phone

 

How to Deal With Freeloading Moochers

From Our Mailbag:

Hi Dr. Kim,

I read with interest your article on Jason and people like him who frequently take advantage of others. I've been struggling with this very issue for several years, wanting to be helpful to a friend and wanting to see the best in him, but with passage of time and countless disheartening "favors" I've realized that this person will not stop taking advantage of me until I put an end to it. Read more about How to Deal With Freeloading Moochers

 

Sometimes You Just Have To Say Good-Bye

When I was in graduate school, I was lucky to be grouped with a fellow intern who I'll call Jason. Not lucky as in blessed to have a friend who I enjoyed spending time with; lucky as in fortunate to learn what I should stay away from.

I'm not going to attempt to be generous in my recollection of Jason. He was a prototypical user, someone whose idea of being a good friend was gracing you with his good looks over lunch in exchange for you picking up the tab. Read more about Sometimes You Just Have To Say Good-Bye

 

Slomo: The Man Who Got Away to Real Freedom

Many thanks to Lucy and Shelby for sharing Slomo's story with me. I trust it will inspire and uplift some out there.

For a written piece on Dr. John Kitchin, aka Slomo, please view:

'Slomo' by Josh Izenberg at The New York Times Read more about Slomo: The Man Who Got Away to Real Freedom

 

How We Measure Success

I can't speak for other cultures, but I can confirm that most Korean parents love discussing how well their grown children are doing with their careers. Seriously, if you put longtime Korean friends in their 60's and beyond at a restaurant table for an hour, chances are good that you'll end up with a world-class brag-fest that is veiled in feigned humility. Read more about How We Measure Success

 

When Giving Leads to Resentment

In wrestling with a number of feelings surrounding giving and resentment, I share my thoughts here with hope that doing so might be cathartic for me and perhaps others who might stumble upon this post and feel that they are not alone.

My parents immigrated to Canada from Korea in 1971, two years before I was born. Details are fuzzy, but my understanding is that my father decided to explore prospects of a better life outside of the Korean Air Force, and word from his brother who had already emigrated to Canada was that it was a fine place to start anew. Read more about When Giving Leads to Resentment

 

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