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Emotional Health and Well-Being

Cutting Ties With A Family Member

A short while ago, I received the following note from a reader in Connecticut:

Dear Dr. Kim,

After suffering for days after another huge dust-up with my dad, I was googling words of comfort when I found your journal on the blow up you had with your father over home-schooling.

To Reconcile or Not To Reconcile

I related so much to you feeling helpless and at the mercy of a toxic, self-centered narcissist. This is how I have felt throughout most of my history with my dad. Read more about Cutting Ties With A Family Member


Thoughts for My Sons

Dear Joshua and Noah:

I trust that you know how much I adore both of you. Being your father has been the greatest gift of my life.

As you know, I'm far from perfect. And the truth is that you will learn all that you really need to learn during your lifetimes from your own choices and experiences.

But here are some random thoughts that I hope you keep close to your hearts as you try to find meaning through the ups and downs that are ahead. Read more about Thoughts for My Sons


Grieving the Loss of a Child

I don't think any of us can understand how devastating it is to lose a child unless we have gone through this. I can't even go there in my own heart - such a loss is unimaginable.

In suffering the death of elders in my family over the years, I have experienced grief in many forms. Shock, confusion, disbelief, guilt, regret - these are the main emotions that I recall feeling in the months after losing a loved one.

Christina, a friend who lost her grown son late last year reached out to me the other day with the following note: Read more about Grieving the Loss of a Child


Advice for a Reader

This is a call for those among our readership who can draw upon their life experiences to share any advice or thoughts of comfort for Beatrice, who sent me the following note last week:

Hi Ben Kim,

Thank you so much for your unique posts. I have truly enjoyed all of them and always look forward to getting them.

Read more about Advice for a Reader>

That Magic Finger

From the time our older son was a toddler, he has shown a disposition for sport. Though quite shy by nature, when it comes time to run and hit fuzzy balls, his eyes sparkle and he exudes the kind of joy that I imagine all parents wish upon their children.

As he has grown to love competing on the tennis court, as a family, we have struggled to figure out how to deal with those who blatantly cheat. It's the dirty little secret of the junior tennis world, only it isn't a secret at all. In this gladiatorial sport that often involves the one-on-one intensity of boxing, there are some families who simply don't mind their children cheating others for a win. Our son is now 9 years old and we have been witness to ruthless repeated cheating by kids who clearly know better, all while their parents stand by with their steely gazes, clearly not bothered that their children are robbing others of their hard work. Read more about That Magic Finger


How to Overcome Chronic Fear and Anxiety

If you are finding it difficult to overcome tendencies to experience fear and anxiety about a health condition or any other aspect of your life, I hope that you realize that you are not alone. Fear and anxiety are emotions that are common to every person's life journey, but especially for those who are living with a long-standing health challenge. Read more about How to Overcome Chronic Fear and Anxiety


Choosing to be Compassionate

For most of the year 2000, I worked and lived at a fasting clinic in northern California where I spent time with many groups of eclectic guests from all over the world.

I often tell my wife that during that year, I felt like I was floating around in a bubble, almost immune to any downers that life brought my way. Sure, there were times when I felt a bit crummy, but most of the time, I was at peace, able to feel compassion for anyone. Read more about Choosing to be Compassionate


Where is the Evidence?

Every once in a while, I receive requests for references to back up some of information on self health care that I provide throughout this web site. If a post doesn't have citations for published studies, some people refuse to consider its contents. Believe it or not, some of these folks get downright ornery about this issue.

My response is two-fold: Read more about Where is the Evidence?


Appearances Matter

When I moved to the suburbs of Chicago shortly after my 20th birthday to begin graduate school, as much as I needed to learn about human physiology and clinical sciences, I was in even greater need of general life guidance. Having been raised by ultra conservative immigrant parents, I had more than a few things to learn about how to understand and interact with people. Read more about Appearances Matter


How to Protect Your Health Against Toxic Behavior

Several years ago, I was fortunate to meet a lady named Deborah at a fasting clinic in northern California. I had several conversations with Deborah over the course of a year, and what I remember most is that her kindness was amazingly genuine - I sensed that she had done a lot of inner work to identify the life principles that she strove to live by. Read more about How to Protect Your Health Against Toxic Behavior




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