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Emotional Health and Well-Being

Times of Conflict Make or Break Relationships

It’s how we behave during times of conflict that ultimately determines the quality of our relationships.

To like, love, and even to adore are effortless when all is good.

But how well do we listen with deep intent to understand when there is disagreement?

How capable are we of considering our shortcomings and how we might have contributed to any conflict at hand?

If we can’t offer heartfelt empathy, and we refuse to take responsibility for our contributions to hurt feelings, the fracture only grows wider. Read more

 

Thoughts From a Former Tiger Mom

Dear Dr. Kim,

This is out of character for me but I feel compelled to write to you so I'm letting down my guard and following my heart.

I have much to be thankful for. I had responsible parents who took care of all my essential needs growing up. Being immigrants from China, they didn't believe in brand names and luxuries. They were all about buying only bare bones necessities and saving the rest for the future, including my university education. What my parents lacked in warmth they compensated for in making sure I was never going to be hungry or homeless. Read more

 

Can Selfish People Change?

Hi Dr. Ben,

I've been following your blog for many years now and have found so much comfort in similar experiences that we've had with family and friends. I'm writing with hope that you can tell me your opinion on an issue that has been gnawing away at me since I was a teenager.

I have an older brother who I'll call Sam. I'm too exhausted to dance around this so let me just say that he's the worst person I know. He is a real creep. Please allow me to explain why. Read more

 

What Most Physicians and Researchers Won't Tell You About Your Health

Updated on April 5, 2019

Once in a while, I receive requests for references to back up some of information on self health care that I share throughout this website. If a post doesn't have citations for published studies, some people refuse to consider its contents. Believe it or not, some of these folks get downright ornery about this issue.

My response is two-fold: Read more

 

Why I Moved to Korea in my late 20s

One of our readers requested notes with our vlogs for those who prefer reading rather than listening. Maddie's question along with notes written to summarize what was covered in the vlog are included below.

Shared with permission:

Dear Dr. Kim, Read more

 

2 Ways to Decrease Risk of Dementia Plus Thoughts on Loneliness Among the Elderly

For more discussion on how to ward off loneliness, isolation, and depression, please visit:

https://drbenkim.com/thoughts-from-our-elders.htm

Or you can contribute to this discussion in the comments section under this video at our YouTube channel: Read more

 

Thoughts on Supporting Our Elders

In today's newsletter, I mentioned that I'll soon be giving a talk to some students that will touch on the growing epidemic of loneliness, isolation, and depression among the elderly in developed countries. I included a request for some feedback from our readership. Specifically, for those in their 60s and beyond, I asked the following two questions:

What do you value most at this point in your life?

And thinking back to earlier seasons of your journey, what would you do differently if you knew what you do now? Read more

 

Friendship Is Always A Sweet Responsibility, Never An Opportunity

Originally published in 2013

You know how it goes - you're pleasantly surprised to have someone take interest in you, thinking that they really would like to just hit some balls on the tennis court or chat over a smoothie or mug of tea. You're thinking that this person who has approached you thinks you're nice or interesting, and that this might be the beginning of a lasting friendship.

Then, you hear it. Words that make you feel like you just got greased.

"Now all I need is your credit card number." Read more

 

Kai-Fu Lee's Letter to his Eldest Daughter as She Began University

Dear Daughter:

As we drove off from Columbia, I wanted to write a letter to you to tell you all that is on my mind. Read more

 

A Memorable Croissant

The other day while I was typing away on my laptop at a local Starbucks, I noticed an elderly lady sitting on her own with a cup of coffee and a fresh croissant in front of her. Her unassuming yet graceful presence stood out against a backdrop of lively students, friends meeting up for coffee, and an eclectic bunch working on their laptops. There was an elegant but palpably melancholic energy about her. Read more

 

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