Does My Teacher Really Need Another Mug?

“This is the best present I ever received!”

That’s what my teachers would always say when I gave them their end-of-the-year gift.

The gift?

It was the same every year – a pair of black dress socks, purchased by my mother.

I was usually a little embarrassed when my mom sent me to school with this gift. Most of my friends brought much cooler gifts like fancy chocolate, gourmet jam, or Christmas ornaments. I thought that my teachers were being kind when they thanked my mom for the socks. But when I became a teacher, I quickly realized how wise my mom was in choosing such a great present!

Obviously my mom inherited her sense of practicality from my grandmother. Ever since I was a little girl, my grandmother gave me and all the other grandchildren socks and underwear each Christmas. It was never an exciting present, but could be counted on each year and guaranteed to be used. I never fully appreciated her annual gift of socks and underwear until it stopped coming, which happened when I had my baby (the event that marked me in my grandmother's eyes as an adult who no longer needs to be looked after).

Similarly, when I became a teacher, I realized that the most memorable presents were the ones that I needed. Within my first four years of teaching, I amassed a fine collection of over twenty “teacher” mugs, dozens of boxes of chocolates which I’m convinced put ten pounds on my derriere, and enough candles to burn down several apartment buildings.

Don’t get me wrong — I appreciated every gift that my students and their parents gave me because I knew their gifts were expressions of gratitude. As the years marched on, these presents turned into gift cards, which I loved because they allowed me to purchase things I wanted and in my own time.

But now, 18 years later, the gifts that I still have and and hold dear are the cards and letters that my students and their parents wrote to me. In my memory binders, I still have the letters that Mrs. Ashfield, Mr. and Mrs. Young, and Mrs. Crystal wrote to me about how much their children loved my class and what a difference I had made by being their teacher; I still deeply appreciate them sending copies of their letters to my principal and superintendent to overtly acknowledge my efforts for them. I continue to keep in touch with many students who wrote personal notes to me. I love it when I receive a friend request via Facebook or LinkedIn from a former student. It's always a wonderful surprise when “my kids” come up to me years later and recall a memory from one of my classes. These are truly the best gifts that I have received as a teacher.

So now that the end of the school year is fast approaching, what will you give to your child’s teacher? Many schools discourage extravagant gift giving because some students just don’t have the means. And most students know who brought the teacher what, which can create uncomfortable situations. I still remember one of my most dedicated students who couldn’t afford to buy me a gift - she expressed her sadness about this one day with tears in her eyes. It was one of the most heart-breaking moments of my teaching career. The truth is, teachers don’t need anything material. All they really want is a word of thanks once in a while which lets them know that they are making a positive difference in their students’ lives.

Think about having your child make a card or write a letter of appreciation for his or her teacher. And how about you, as a parent, writing a card or letter as well? I guarantee that personal thoughts on paper will make it into the teacher’s memory binder forever. And no, it won't hurt to include a pair of black socks.