You are here

Emotional Health and Well-Being

Sometimes You Just Have To Say Good-Bye

When I was in graduate school, I was lucky to be grouped with a fellow intern who I'll call Jason. Not lucky as in blessed to have a friend who I enjoyed spending time with; lucky as in fortunate to learn what I should stay away from.

I'm not going to attempt to be generous in my recollection of Jason. He was a prototypical user, someone whose idea of being a good friend was gracing you with his good looks over lunch in exchange for you picking up the tab. Read more about Sometimes You Just Have To Say Good-Bye

 

Slomo: The Man Who Got Away to Real Freedom

Many thanks to Lucy and Shelby for sharing Slomo's story with me. I trust it will inspire and uplift some out there.

For a written piece on Dr. John Kitchin, aka Slomo, please view:

'Slomo' by Josh Izenberg at The New York Times Read more about Slomo: The Man Who Got Away to Real Freedom

 

How We Measure Success

I can't speak for other cultures, but I can confirm that most Korean parents love discussing how well their grown children are doing with their careers. Seriously, if you put longtime Korean friends in their 60's and beyond at a restaurant table for an hour, chances are good that you'll end up with a world-class brag-fest that is veiled in feigned humility. Read more about How We Measure Success

 

When Giving Leads to Resentment

In wrestling with a number of feelings surrounding giving and resentment, I share my thoughts here with hope that doing so might be cathartic for me and perhaps others who might stumble upon this post and feel that they are not alone.

My parents immigrated to Canada from Korea in 1971, two years before I was born. Details are fuzzy, but my understanding is that my father decided to explore prospects of a better life outside of the Korean Air Force, and word from his brother who had already emigrated to Canada was that it was a fine place to start anew. Read more about When Giving Leads to Resentment

 

To Reconcile or Not to Reconcile

Earlier this year, my wife Margaret and I decided to homeschool our boys. We agonized over this decision for more than a year, weighing our options and thinking about how to best support our sons as they grow and mature into thoughtful, service-minded, self-sufficient, and emotionally intelligent adults. Read more about To Reconcile or Not to Reconcile

 

The Power of a Heartfelt Sorry

If I can impart just one bit of relationship advice to our sons before I no longer have any influence on their development, it is this:

A genuine apology from the heart can heal, nourish, and inspire in ways that no amount of money or counselling can.

I feel this holds true in every type of relationship, be it between life partners, parents and their children, friends, work colleagues, and businesses and their clients. Based on my life experiences thus far, I can't help but believe that the majority of us humans don't fully understand the value of delivering a heartfelt sorry.

In the moment that we realize that we have made a mistake or we are told by someone that we have hurt his or her feelings, whether our mistake was purposeful or inadvertent, do we have the emotional intelligence to process our mistake, take full responsibility for it, and deliver a genuine apology? Read more about The Power of a Heartfelt Sorry

 

Getting Clear On Our Why

When I was in chiropractic school, I remember hearing a number of students and professors say that the head of the orthopedic department - I'll call him Dr. Jones - was by far the most knowledgeable practitioner at our clinic. Many marveled at his understanding of the biomechanics of human movement and his wealth of experience in physical medicine and rehabilitation.

I strongly considered pursuing one of two or three coveted orthopedic residencies with Dr. Jones upon graduation, but decided instead to move to rural Alaska and run a clinic on my own. Read more about Getting Clear On Our Why

 

The Need To Be Understood

In 1999, I spent almost a full month of my summer at a water fasting clinic in Ohio. There, I experienced a two-week water-only fast, followed by a period of clean eating to rebuild my health.

I was immensely blessed to share a room with a man from Boston named Joseph Somario. From day one, I was drawn to Joe's palpable kindness and willingness to share from his wealth of life experiences. Read more about The Need To Be Understood

 

When a Loved One Struggles

At a recent tennis tournament, our 11-year old son was in the midst of a challenging match with a good friend of his. It was the sort of match where one doesn't want to see either child dispirted. So when I saw our son's light go out late in the match when he was thoroughly exhausted and frustrated, it was I who became dispirited, hopefully not outwardly, but definitely within. Read more about When a Loved One Struggles

 

Can Selfish People Change To Be Genuinely Warm and Loving?

Hi Dr. Ben,

I've been following your blog for many years now and have found so much comfort in similar experiences that we've had with family and friends. I'm writing with hope that you can tell me your opinion on an issue that has been gnawing away at me since I was a teenager.

I have an older brother who I'll call Sam. I'm too exhausted to dance around this so let me just say that he's the worst person I know. He is a real creep. Please allow me to explain why. Read more about Can Selfish People Change To Be Genuinely Warm and Loving?

 

Pages

 
 

Join more than 100,000 readers worldwide who receive Dr. Ben Kim's free newsletter

Receive simple suggestions to improve your health and mobility, plus alerts on specials and giveaways at our catalogue.