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Emotional Health and Well-Being

How We Measure Success

I can't speak for other cultures, but I can confirm that most Korean parents love discussing how well their grown children are doing with their careers. Seriously, if you put longtime Korean friends in their 60's and beyond at a restaurant table for an hour, chances are good that you'll end up with a world-class brag-fest that is veiled in feigned humility. Read more about How We Measure Success

 

When Giving Leads to Resentment

In wrestling with a number of feelings surrounding giving and resentment, I share my thoughts here with hope that doing so might be cathartic for me and perhaps others who might stumble upon this post and feel that they are not alone.

My parents immigrated to Canada from Korea in 1971, two years before I was born. Details are fuzzy, but my understanding is that my father decided to explore prospects of a better life outside of the Korean Air Force, and word from his brother who had already emigrated to Canada was that it was a fine place to start anew. Read more about When Giving Leads to Resentment

 

To Reconcile or Not to Reconcile

Earlier this year, my wife Margaret and I decided to homeschool our boys. We agonized over this decision for more than a year, weighing our options and thinking about how to best support our sons as they grow and mature into thoughtful, service-minded, self-sufficient, and emotionally intelligent adults. Read more about To Reconcile or Not to Reconcile

 

The Power of a Heartfelt Sorry

If I can impart just one bit of relationship advice to our sons before I no longer have any influence on their development, it is this:

A genuine apology from the heart can heal, nourish, and inspire in ways that no amount of money or counselling can.

I feel this holds true in every type of relationship, be it between life partners, parents and their children, friends, work colleagues, and businesses and their clients. Based on my life experiences thus far, I can't help but believe that the majority of us humans don't fully understand the value of delivering a heartfelt sorry.

In the moment that we realize that we have made a mistake or we are told by someone that we have hurt his or her feelings, whether our mistake was purposeful or inadvertent, do we have the emotional intelligence to process our mistake, take full responsibility for it, and deliver a genuine apology? Read more about The Power of a Heartfelt Sorry

 

Getting Clear On Our Why

When I was in chiropractic school, I remember hearing a number of students and professors say that the head of the orthopedic department - I'll call him Dr. Jones - was by far the most knowledgeable practitioner at our clinic. Many marveled at his understanding of the biomechanics of human movement and his wealth of experience in physical medicine and rehabilitation.

I strongly considered pursuing one of two or three coveted orthopedic residencies with Dr. Jones upon graduation, but decided instead to move to rural Alaska and run a clinic on my own. Read more about Getting Clear On Our Why

 

The Need To Be Understood

In 1999, I spent almost a full month of my summer at a water fasting clinic in Ohio. There, I experienced a two-week water-only fast, followed by a period of clean eating to rebuild my health.

I was immensely blessed to share a room with a man from Boston named Joseph Somario. From day one, I was drawn to Joe's palpable kindness and willingness to share from his wealth of life experiences. Read more about The Need To Be Understood

 

When a Loved One Struggles

At a recent tennis tournament, our 11-year old son was in the midst of a challenging match with a good friend of his. It was the sort of match where one doesn't want to see either child dispirted. So when I saw our son's light go out late in the match when he was thoroughly exhausted and frustrated, it was I who became dispirited, hopefully not outwardly, but definitely within. Read more about When a Loved One Struggles

 

Can Selfish People Change To Be Genuinely Warm and Loving?

Hi Dr. Ben,

I've been following your blog for many years now and have found so much comfort in similar experiences that we've had with family and friends. I'm writing with hope that you can tell me your opinion on an issue that has been gnawing away at me since I was a teenager.

I have an older brother who I'll call Sam. I'm too exhausted to dance around this so let me just say that he's the worst person I know. He is a real creep. Please allow me to explain why. Read more about Can Selfish People Change To Be Genuinely Warm and Loving?

 

Is Your Kid Worth $100 Million?

Many thanks to Michael Lazerow for allowing me to re-publish his article here. I trust that it will inspire. - Ben Kim

Would you sell one of your kids for $100 million? Be honest.

Imagine your little Ben didn't burp or fart or throw up when your boss came over. Or think flushing the toilet was "mom's job." But sat quietly with other Benjamins in piles of crisp, neatly organized rows, ready to be enjoyed. Read more about Is Your Kid Worth $100 Million?

 

What We Remember

In late winter of 2012 when our boys were 6 and 4, we spent a couple of days at an indoor resort that happened to be hosting the Under-14 Provincial Tennis Championship for Ontario. What an eye-opening experience it was to see 13 and 14 year-olds playing at such a high level, displaying many of the skills and competitive spirit that one might see on the pro tour. Read more about What We Remember

 

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