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Emotional Health and Well-Being

What To Do When A Loved One Is Chronically Negative

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Dear Dr. Ben,

This was such a wonderful, delicate yet at the same time powerful read.

Among many insights in your post, the biggest gift for me this time was being able to connect the dots in my own life, as you shared that you don't talk with your parents about your hopes and dreams or any important decisions. I finally realized why the dynamic with my mom has been so complicated, especially since I began living more consciously. I always had such a deep desire to connect with my mom and share my life with her, but after sharing I usually have to spend so much time coping with her energy of fear and doubt. It feels so discouraging... I have realized that because she is not working on her own wounds, she will not be able to understand my increasing inner freedom and desire to act in accordance to my heart voice.  Read more about What To Do When A Loved One Is Chronically Negative

 

How to Increase Your Value

Soon after graduating from school, I moved to the arctic of Alaska to run my first chiropractic clinic. I was 24 years old and grateful for the opportunity to be of service to the First Nations community there and the chance to pay back my student loans and create a small nest egg for the future.

My work days were long and it was mostly a lonely existence - back then, even a phone call home to Canada was $2 a minute, so most of my down time was spent reading, writing, and making plans for the future. Read more about How to Increase Your Value

 

The Nuances of Saying Sorry

Hey Dr. Ben,

Your vlog made me wonder if you've covered the importance of apologizing when you've done something wrong and how to apologize?  If not, I'd love to know your thoughts on this topic.  My fiance and I don't argue very often but when we do, the issue of who owes who an apology is usually a point we have tension over. Read more about The Nuances of Saying Sorry

 

How to Forgive Someone Who Isn't Sorry

From Our Mailbag:

Hi Dr. Ben,

I'm 59 years old and am hoping that you can help me with an issue that has been a heavy burden almost all my life. Read more about How to Forgive Someone Who Isn't Sorry

 

Sometimes You Just Have To Say Good-Bye

When I was in graduate school, I was lucky to be grouped with a fellow intern who I'll call Jason. Not lucky as in blessed to have a friend who I enjoyed spending time with; lucky as in fortunate to learn what I should stay away from.

I'm not going to attempt to be generous in my recollection of Jason. He was a prototypical user, someone whose idea of being a good friend was gracing you with his good looks over lunch in exchange for you picking up the tab. Read more about Sometimes You Just Have To Say Good-Bye

 

Appearances Matter

Originally posted in July of 2014 after the passing of my friend, Dr. John. Updated on August 28, 2018.

When I moved to the suburbs of Chicago shortly after my 20th birthday to begin graduate school, as much as I needed to learn about human physiology and clinical sciences, I was in even greater need of general life guidance. Having been raised by ultra conservative immigrant parents, I had more than a few things to learn about how to understand and interact with people.

I had the great fortune of having as a classmate a fellow named John who was 47 years old and excited to begin a second career. He had done well as a real estate appraiser and property flipper on the east coast, and though he never boasted of his wealth, I knew that John had earned enough to be retired, and was pursuing a career as a health care provider because he had restored his own health with alternative therapies and wanted to share his passion for natural healing with others. Read more about Appearances Matter

 

The Dark Side of Junior Tennis

On Saturday September 7th, 2019, the headlines across Canada and the global tennis world captured the incredible accomplishment of Bianca Andreescu, who at 19 years of age, became the first Canadian to win a Grand Slam singles title.  

Those who aren't familiar with what it takes to journey through the junior tennis world to have a chance of standing where Bianca Andreescu is today likely cannot imagine the dark side of such a trek.  

Here's a headline that you won't see from any media outlet: Read more about The Dark Side of Junior Tennis

 

Thoughts on Responsible Alcohol Consumption

Approximately 11 million people in the United States and Canada use some form of sleep aid on a regular basis, with alcohol and antihistamines being two popular choices.

Contrary to popular belief, having a nightcap - 5 ounces of wine, 1-2 ounces of a distilled spirit like tequila, vodka, or whiskey, or 8-12 ounces of beer - does not improve sleep quality. In fact, having a nightcap actually takes away from the amount of restful sleep we experience. Read more about Thoughts on Responsible Alcohol Consumption

 

Powerful Things to Say to Your Kids

Originally posted in November of 2012

I've long believed that the words we choose in everyday conversation and correspondence play a significant role in shaping our relationships.

For example, from the time that our boys began asking questions to which some parents might answer "because I said so," Margaret and I have tried to preface our answers with "because from my experience, that would lead to..." Read more about Powerful Things to Say to Your Kids

 

What Does A Truly Good Friend Look Like?

Originally posted in July of 2018

I've always loved the Korean word for friendship - it's pronounced "oo jung." There was a time in my 20s when oojung was actually the bulk of my e-mail address, back when gmail didn't exist and most of us were at yahoo or hotmail.

More than ever, I find myself considering what constitutes a healthy friendship, for my own well-being, and also to do what I can to help our boys understand what a truly good friend looks like. Read more about What Does A Truly Good Friend Look Like?

 

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