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Emotional Health and Well-Being

Lessons From The Longest Study on Happiness, by Robert Waldinger

Transcript

What keeps us healthy and happy as we go through life? If you were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and your energy? There was a recent survey of millennials asking them what their most important life goals were, and over 80 percent said that a major life goal for them was to get rich. And another 50 percent of those same young adults said that another major life goal was to become famous. Read more about Lessons From The Longest Study on Happiness, by Robert Waldinger

 

Six Questions to Consider in Choosing a Life Partner

I've long felt that choosing a life partner should be a subject that is thoroughly discussed sometime in high school and perhaps even in university. It amazes me that so little time, if any, is given to considering this topic on a meaningful level in school. Read more about Six Questions to Consider in Choosing a Life Partner

 

Mindful Parenting for Gritty Children

If you're raising young children or even teenagers and wonder from time to time if your approach to parenting will yield emotionally intelligent, courageous, and persevering progeny, I think you'll find Dr. Angela Duckworth's book on Grit to be a worthwhile read. Read more about Mindful Parenting for Gritty Children

 

The Need To Be Understood

In 1999, I spent almost a full month of my summer at a water fasting clinic in Ohio. There, I experienced a two-week water-only fast, followed by a period of clean eating to rebuild my health.

I was immensely blessed to share a room with a man from Boston named Joseph Somario. From day one, I was drawn to Joe's palpable kindness and willingness to share from his wealth of life experiences. Read more about The Need To Be Understood

 

How We Measure Success

I can't speak for other cultures, but I can confirm that most Korean parents love discussing how well their grown children are doing with their careers. Seriously, if you put longtime Korean friends in their 60's and beyond at a restaurant table for an hour, chances are good that you'll end up with a world-class brag-fest that is veiled in feigned humility. Read more about How We Measure Success

 

When Giving Leads to Resentment

In wrestling with a number of feelings surrounding giving and resentment, I share my thoughts here with hope that doing so might be cathartic for me and perhaps others who might stumble upon this post and feel that they are not alone.

My parents immigrated to Canada from Korea in 1971, two years before I was born. Details are fuzzy, but my understanding is that my father decided to explore prospects of a better life outside of the Korean Air Force, and word from his brother who had already emigrated to Canada was that it was a fine place to start anew. Read more about When Giving Leads to Resentment

 

Can Selfish People Change To Be Genuinely Warm and Loving?

Hi Dr. Ben,

I've been following your blog for many years now and have found so much comfort in similar experiences that we've had with family and friends. I'm writing with hope that you can tell me your opinion on an issue that has been gnawing away at me since I was a teenager.

I have an older brother who I'll call Sam. I'm too exhausted to dance around this so let me just say that he's the worst person I know. He is a real creep. Please allow me to explain why. Read more about Can Selfish People Change To Be Genuinely Warm and Loving?

 

How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You

Originally published in 2006

A few days ago, I was flipping through an Oprah magazine that my wife borrowed from our public library when I came across a short piece on forgiveness by playwright and actor Tyler Perry.

Here's the part that I felt a strong connection to: Read more about How To Forgive Someone Who Has Hurt You

 

Thoughts on Forgiving Someone Who Has Hurt You, by Myra Bailes

Originally published in March of 2009

I definitely agree that forgiveness is often more about freeing oneself from limiting, painful emotions than it is about releasing the person who hurt you from responsibility for their actions.

Many times the people who hurt others are so unconscious of their own inner processes that they will continue to behave in the same or similar ways throughout their lives. They are simply too damaged and too ignorant to be able to do what it takes to recover and become sane, caring human beings. Read more about Thoughts on Forgiving Someone Who Has Hurt You, by Myra Bailes

 

The Space Between Stimulus and Response

Originally posted in May 2009

Close friends and family members are typically surprised when they learn that my wife Margaret and I have had a good number of fights over the years. At first glance, both of us are generally viewed as being kind, thoughtful, and maybe even a bit shy. So jaws tend to drop when people find out that we're far from being the Cleavers. Read more about The Space Between Stimulus and Response

 

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