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Emotional Health and Well-Being

When a Loved One Struggles

At a recent tennis tournament, our 11-year old son was in the midst of a challenging match with a good friend of his. It was the sort of match where one doesn't want to see either child dispirted. So when I saw our son's light go out late in the match when he was thoroughly exhausted and frustrated, it was I who became dispirited, hopefully not outwardly, but definitely within. Read more about When a Loved One Struggles

 

Can Selfish People Change To Be Genuinely Warm and Loving?

Hi Dr. Ben,

I've been following your blog for many years now and have found so much comfort in similar experiences that we've had with family and friends. I'm writing with hope that you can tell me your opinion on an issue that has been gnawing away at me since I was a teenager.

I have an older brother who I'll call Sam. I'm too exhausted to dance around this so let me just say that he's the worst person I know. He is a real creep. Please allow me to explain why. Read more about Can Selfish People Change To Be Genuinely Warm and Loving?

 

Is Your Kid Worth $100 Million?

Many thanks to Michael Lazerow for allowing me to re-publish his article here. I trust that it will inspire. - Ben Kim

Would you sell one of your kids for $100 million? Be honest.

Imagine your little Ben didn't burp or fart or throw up when your boss came over. Or think flushing the toilet was "mom's job." But sat quietly with other Benjamins in piles of crisp, neatly organized rows, ready to be enjoyed. Read more about Is Your Kid Worth $100 Million?

 

The Power of a Heartfelt Sorry

If I can impart just one bit of relationship advice to our sons before I no longer have any influence on their development, it is this:

A genuine apology from the heart can heal, nourish, and inspire in ways that no amount of money or counselling can.

I feel this holds true in every type of relationship, be it between life partners, parents and their children, friends, work colleagues, and businesses and their clients. Based on my life experiences thus far, I can't help but believe that the majority of us humans don't fully understand the value of delivering a heartfelt sorry.

In the moment that we realize that we have made a mistake or we are told by someone that we have hurt his or her feelings, whether our mistake was purposeful or inadvertent, do we have the emotional intelligence to process our mistake, take full responsibility for it, and deliver a genuine apology? Read more about The Power of a Heartfelt Sorry

 

What We Remember

In late winter of 2012 when our boys were 6 and 4, we spent a couple of days at an indoor resort that happened to be hosting the Under-14 Provincial Tennis Championship for Ontario. What an eye-opening experience it was to see 13 and 14 year-olds playing at such a high level, displaying many of the skills and competitive spirit that one might see on the pro tour. Read more about What We Remember

 

All That I Need

Originally shared at our Facebook page in early 2016.

Our younger son, now 8, has been denying me bear hugs and kisses since he was about 3 - I guess there is a part of him that feels like he is too grown up for public displays of affection, especially in front of his friends. Read more about All That I Need

 

Getting Clear On Our Why

When I was in chiropractic school, I remember hearing a number of students and professors say that the head of the orthopedic department - I'll call him Dr. Jones - was by far the most knowledgeable practitioner at our clinic. Many marveled at his understanding of the biomechanics of human movement and his wealth of experience in physical medicine and rehabilitation.

I strongly considered pursuing one of two or three coveted orthopedic residencies with Dr. Jones upon graduation, but decided instead to move to rural Alaska and run a clinic on my own. Read more about Getting Clear On Our Why

 

Thoughts on Parenting

Untitled

In walking along the icy shoreline of Lake Simcoe with our firstborn in late December, I found myself feeling grateful for having lived long enough to know that our boys will remember me no matter what happens from here on out. This was my greatest wish from the time this young fellow arrived into our arms in 2005.

Today, my new greatest wish is that our boys grow up to feel that they can come to me to talk about anything. No matter how grave their concern, how intense their anger, disappointment, or sadness - even if I am a root cause of their suffering - I hope I will have built up enough trust in my emotional bank account with them that they want to share and discuss their feelings, knowing that I will do my best to understand them. Read more about Thoughts on Parenting

 

Lessons From The Longest Study on Happiness, by Robert Waldinger

Transcript

What keeps us healthy and happy as we go through life? If you were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and your energy? There was a recent survey of millennials asking them what their most important life goals were, and over 80 percent said that a major life goal for them was to get rich. And another 50 percent of those same young adults said that another major life goal was to become famous. Read more about Lessons From The Longest Study on Happiness, by Robert Waldinger

 

Six Questions to Consider in Choosing a Life Partner

I've long felt that choosing a life partner should be a subject that is thoroughly discussed sometime in high school and perhaps even in university. It amazes me that so little time, if any, is given to considering this topic on a meaningful level in school. Read more about Six Questions to Consider in Choosing a Life Partner

 

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