Remembering Harold Hoffman (1931-2011)

Reverence is not too strong a word to describe what I felt for Harold Hoffman.

I met Harold, his wife Rhoda, and his sister-in-law Darlene several years ago when they visited our fasting clinic looking for some help for various health challenges.

During their stay of approximately three weeks, it was they who helped me. From day one, the feeling that I had was that they were a family of givers, on the lookout for ways to encourage and support, never in an attention-drawing way, but quietly, with grace, just looking to be of service. Their compassion, generosity, and genuineness were palpable.

When Harold's and Rhoda's oldest son Mitch, then an Assistant Crown Attorney working in rural Ontario, came for a visit to see his parents and aunt, I was caught off guard but not overly surprised when Mitch knocked on my office door and quietly asked to cover his family's stay at the clinic. After, when I told Harold what Mitch had done, Harold's gaze drifted to the floor. He was unable to speak for a moment, and I knew that his soul overflowed with love and pride for his son. They knew that Mitch knew that they didn't need help with their stay - it was the gesture, the showing of love and respect for his parents and aunt that made that moment what it was.

So I knew that I would never forget the Hoffman family. And it brought me happiness and fulfillment to stay in touch with them over the years.

During Harold's funeral service, Mitch mentioned that his dad knew a million jokes, always looking to get others to chuckle. Mitch then corrected himself and said that in thinking things through, the total was probably more like one hundred thousand, as Harold liked to tell each of his jokes ten times.

For the record, I would respectfully argue that Harold knew about two hundred thousand jokes, as I don't recall hearing the same one more than five times. His delivery was always outstanding, even on the fourth and fifth rounds of the same joke.

Beyond the funny stories, whenever we e-mailed or spoke on the phone to catch up, I would hear about all three of his sons, and always his granddaughter EmmaLee. Even over the phone, he sparkled whenever he spoke about EmmaLee.

When his youngest son David came to visit me one summer from California, Harold and Rhoda made the drive in from Montreal to spend time with David. I'll never forget the experience of seeing Harold and Rhoda embrace their grown youngest child. The way they hugged and held him left no doubt about their feelings for him. Coming from an old school Korean upbringing, I had never seen a father or mother show that kind of affection for their child; it was startling, so much so that I actually remember ceasing to breathe for a few seconds, unable to divert my eyes from father and mother hugging their son.

So first and foremost, I remember Harold Hoffman as a man who lived for his family. It was abundantly clear that he loved them as much as one can love another, and he knew how to show his love.

Not the type of person who sought public recognition or a certain social status, Harold made an honest living running a bridal shop, working diligently with Rhoda (a registered nurse) to provide for their family and give their sons all of the support and guidance that they could use as they looked to find their destinies.

Beyond taking care of his family, Harold was a champion for natural living and natural health care. He was a founding member of the Canadian Health Association, as well as a longtime member of the National Health Association in the States. He was a true role model for healthy living and always had time to share what he knew with those who asked him for advice.

To see his wife of fifty-one years, three sons, granddaughter, and a group of relatives and friends mourn his passing, I was comforted in knowing that Harold must have been aware of how much he was adored and respected, especially by his family. It brought me grief to imagine the depths of their feelings of loss, but it gave me joy to see the fruits of all that he gave of himself.

My dear friend Harold: I trust that your goodness will reverberate forever. I will never forget you.

***

From The Montreal Gazette

HOFFMAN, Harold
1931 - 2011

Passed away peacefully surrounded by family and friends. Cherished husband of Rhoda, and loving father of Mitchell, Shawn and David. Beloved grandfather of EmmaLee. Funeral Services will take place in the Outremont Chapel of the Mount Royal Funeral Complex (1297 Chemin de la Foret, Outremont (514 279 6540) on Tuesday, August 23 at 11 a.m. Private Shiva will follow at the family residence from 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m. through Thursday, August 25 inclusive. Harold was devoted to both his family and friends, as well as social justice issues. He maintained his great and unique sense of humour to the very end. Donations in his memory may be made to the Palliative Care Unit of the Montreal General Hospital, 1650 Cedar Ave., Montreal H3A 3B4. Heartfelt thanks to a most incredible team of caregivers. (PCU)