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Podcast: Would You Say That if They Were Here Right Now?, by Dr. Ben Kim


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I have just come from a Ladies Bible class and luncheon afterward where we ladies had a real opportunity to gossip. Thinking back I believe that our table did very well at not indulging in gossip but it is always a temptation in such settings. I plan on sharing this article with my class next week because it is so positively encouraging. The admonition to not say anything about someone that you would not say if they were in the room is something that should always be remembered.
Thank you so much for your insights and example. It was very helpful.
A faithful reader,
Linda Welch
Jackson TN USA

I totally understand what you are saying.

And have felt and done and gone through all the issues and emotions you mentioned.

To take it further, we are all human and are all looking for connection.

Was giving accurate (assuming it's accurate) information about a professional person that has a common thread with you, a professional person, really gossip?

Or just a way to connect with you?

She said things that shows she really cares about the professionals she invests her family's health with and respects their expertise.

She shared things with you that tells you she values how people behave and so she would naturally seek that information in conversation from a professional.
From your report she did not put a negative value on the couple and their situation, she did add a comment that she didn't seem comfortable in knowing how to handle it herself since she likes them both.

She may have been looking for an affirmation that all will be well from you.
I understand how inappropriate that may seem to you and it could be, but most often people don't empower themselves by appropriately seeking professional advice.

Then, why do most people not respond to information about people?
Experience that people think that is negative?
Or that maybe they will be "quoted" or "misquoted"?
I think gossip is negative in orientation.
Information is positive.

Sometimes in our society, I think we've become too sensitive about these minor things.

Treating someone as untrustworthy for something so simple seems like cutting off a hand for getting into the cookie jar.

But that is what we do in our world.

And I believe people are suffering due to the disconnections.