It is one thing to make a mistake, and quite another thing not to admit it. People will forgive mistakes, because mistakes are usually of the mind, mistakes of judgment. But people will not easily forgive the mistakes of the heart, the ill intention, the bad motives, the prideful justifying cover-up of the first mistake.
Our greatest competition isn't other people; rather, it's not appreciating our blessings. It's not taking responsibility for our shortcomings. It's not doing the work and making the sacrifices needed to experience what we want. It's not understanding that great fulfillment lies in learning, giving, and loving. Read more
Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct. I need to be loved by someone who chooses to love me, who sees in me something worth loving.
Grief can be the garden of compassion. If you keep your heart open through everything, your pain can become your greatest ally in your life's search for love and wisdom.
It should be a privilege to be able to say "I love you" to someone. It shouldn't be something people say just because they feel like it. A privilege that is earned. They say you have to earn the right to be loved; no, love is unconditional, if you love someone, they don't have to earn it. But. The right to tell someone that you love them? That has to be earned. You have to earn the right to be believed.
If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.
After 21 years, we made the difficult decision to bring our catalogue to a close. To stay connected with Dr. Kim's writings, please feel free to subscribe for free here: Dr. Ben Kim on Substack. Sending best wishes and thanks to all.