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Emotional Health and Well-Being

Times of Conflict Make or Break Relationships

It’s how we behave during times of conflict that ultimately determines the quality of our relationships.

To like, love, and even to adore are effortless when all is good.

But how well do we listen with deep intent to understand when there is disagreement?

How capable are we of considering our shortcomings and how we might have contributed to any conflict at hand?

If we can’t offer heartfelt empathy, and we refuse to take responsibility for our contributions to hurt feelings, the fracture only grows wider. Read more

 

Appearances Matter

Originally posted in July of 2014 after the passing of my friend, Dr. John.

When I moved to the suburbs of Chicago shortly after my 20th birthday to begin graduate school, as much as I needed to learn about human physiology and clinical sciences, I was in even greater need of general life guidance. Having been raised by ultra conservative immigrant parents, I had more than a few things to learn about how to understand and interact with people.

I had the great fortune of having as a classmate a fellow named John who was 47 years old and excited to begin a second career. He had done well as a real estate appraiser and property flipper on the east coast, and though he never boasted of his wealth, I knew that John had earned enough to be retired, and was pursuing a career as a health care provider because he had restored his own health with alternative therapies and wanted to share his passion for natural healing with others. Read more

 

The Healing Power of Empathy

Last week, I mentioned a video on how Koreans of different ages and life circumstances reacted to meeting a young Korean lady with vitiligo.

The clip below shows the older lady who was courageous enough to honestly say that she could not accept someone with such a visible issue as her daughter-in-law. I received a few messages from readers who expressed empathy for this view.

I agree that she should be respected for honestly expressing her stance - it's perfectly understandable. Read more

 

How Others See Us

Over the weekend, I stumbled upon this video on how Koreans of different ages and life circumstances react to meeting a fellow Korean lady who has vitiligo - for all the insight this offers into the ways in which we humans see ourselves and others, I feel it's worth viewing. Read more

 

When You Can't Decide

Where There Is Injury Let Me Sow Pardon

Many thanks to Kent Nerburn and HarperCollins for allowing us to share this chapter from Make Me An Instrument of Your Peace with our readers. - Ben Kim

By Kent Nerburn

I once spoke with a man who had done hard time at a maximum security penitentiary. I asked him what had been the single most significant lesson he had learned from being inside. He looked at me with sad eyes and said, "You would not believe what lives inside the human heart. There really is such a thing as evil." Read more

 

The Most Important Virtue?

In Stray Reflections, Jawad Mian writes:

"A young man once left his homeland to seek Rumi. After weeks of toilsome travel, he reached the outskirts of Konya and saw a gracious presence walking toward him. The young man knew, in his heart, that this was the great teacher he longed for. He dropped to his knees.

"Then, as the young man arose, he found Rumi prostrate in the dirt.

"Astonished and embarrassed, the young man again prostrated himself. When he arose a second time, Rumi was once more prostrated before him. Read more

 

What We Remember

Untitled

I've been at a Toronto area hospital over the past several days as my dad recovers from colon surgery. While resting on his hospital bed on Sunday morning, I asked him to share anything he remembers about living through the Korean War. Read more

 

The Answers We Seek

With our boys turning 18 and 16 this year, I am regularly given opportunities to answer varying questions about which roads they should take in coming years.

How do they figure out what they want to do for a living?

How will exponentially developing artificial intelligence alter the world, and specifically, the job market, and how can they account for this in their decision making?

How do they make meaningful friendships that they will cherish for a long time?

What are the best ways to make a positive difference in the world? Read more

 

Friendship Is Always A Sweet Responsibility, Never An Opportunity

Originally published in 2013

You know how it goes - you're pleasantly surprised to have someone take interest in you, thinking that they really would like to just hit some balls on the tennis court or chat over a smoothie or mug of tea. You're thinking that this person who has approached you thinks you're nice or interesting, and that this might be the beginning of a lasting friendship.

Then, you hear it. Words that make you feel like you just got greased.

"Now all I need is your credit card number." Read more

 

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