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Emotional Health and Well-Being

Resentment and Reconciliation

Oscar Wilde wrote: "Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes, they forgive them."

As adult children of aging parents, it seems that in some cases, built-up resentment for various wrongdoings can last until their parents' final days. Often, the heartfelt apology that adult children yearn to receive never comes, adding to their bewilderment and hurt. Read more

 

The Nuances of Saying Sorry

Hey Dr. Ben,

Your vlog made me wonder if you've covered the importance of apologizing when you've done something wrong and how to apologize?  If not, I'd love to know your thoughts on this topic.  My fiance and I don't argue very often but when we do, the issue of who owes who an apology is usually a point we have tension over. Read more

 

Love Liberates

I am deeply grateful to have Maya Angelou to turn to whenever I need an injection of all that is good in life. Morning and night, even if I don't have much else to meditate on, I remember this from Maya:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Thank you for all that you gave us, Maya. Thank you. Read more

 

Lessons From The Longest Study on Happiness, by Robert Waldinger

Transcript

What keeps us healthy and happy as we go through life? If you were going to invest now in your future best self, where would you put your time and your energy? There was a recent survey of millennials asking them what their most important life goals were, and over 80 percent said that a major life goal for them was to get rich. And another 50 percent of those same young adults said that another major life goal was to become famous. Read more

 

The Healing Impact of Gratitude

One of the most important realizations that I made early on in my personal health journey and as a health care provider is that all of us have the priceless ability to generate powerful waves of healing energy on demand.  

How, you might be wondering?

The answer lies in filling ourselves with an enormous spirit of gratitude.   Read more

 

Selfish Choices

The challenge with those who regularly make selfish choices is that typically, they are unaware of the pain and hurt that they create for others. For the purpose of streamlining these thoughts, let's call such people egoists: those who are preoccupied with their own interests.

My life experiences have led me to believe that the vast majority of egoists behave the way they do because they carry significant unresolved pain within, often some combination of not having received sufficient love and being put down by those they most needed to be nurtured by as youngsters. Read more

 

Unseen

Growing up as a visible minority of immigrant parents in a predominately Caucasian town in Canada, I gradually learned that many people in that town conflated my parents' English language ability with their intelligence. It was almost as though for many, the subconscious mind automatically assigned a positive correlation between language proficiency and intelligence. The thinking must have been something like: Well, they run a variety store and I have to dumb down my words when speaking to them, so they can't be very smart. Read more

 

What Does A Truly Good Friend Look Like?

I've always loved the Korean word for friendship - it's pronounced "oo jung." There was a time in my 20s when oojung was actually the bulk of my e-mail address, back when gmail didn't exist and most of us were at yahoo or hotmail.

More than ever, I find myself considering what constitutes a healthy friendship, for my own well-being, and also to do what I can to help our boys understand what a truly good friend looks like. Read more

 

How to Forgive Someone Who Isn't Sorry

Originally posted in September 2019

From Our Mailbag:

Hi Dr. Ben,

I'm 59 years old and am hoping that you can help me with an issue that has been a heavy burden almost all my life. Read more

 

Dr. Shefali Tsabary on Conscious Parenting

Unbeknownst to her, Dr. Shefali is one of my most treasured mentors. Whenever I experience conflict with our boys, I find myself re-reading passages in The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family to try to figure out where I went wrong as a person and parent. Read more

 

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