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Emotional Health and Well-Being

Can Selfish People Change?

From Our Mailbag:

Hi Dr. Ben,

I've been following your blog for many years and have found so much comfort in similar experiences that we've had with family and friends. I'm writing with hope that you can tell me your opinion on an issue that has been gnawing away at me since I was a teenager.

I have an older brother who I'll call Sam. I'm too exhausted to dance around this so I will simply say that he's the worst person I know. He's a real creep. Allow me to explain why. Read more

 

How to Increase Your Value

Originally Posted in October of 2019

Soon after graduating from school, I moved to the arctic of Alaska to run my first chiropractic clinic. I was 24 years old and grateful for the opportunity to be of service to the First Nations community there and the chance to pay back my student loans and create a small nest egg for the future.

My work days were long and it was mostly a lonely existence - back then, even a phone call home to Canada was $2 a minute, so most of my down time was spent reading, writing, and making plans for the future. Read more

 

Mental Health Is Mostly Invisible

Through the works of Sebastian Junger, I was surprised to learn that in all societies, as affluence rises, so do rates of depression and suicide.  

Jim Carey once said that he hoped that everyone could become rich and famous so that they would have the chance to realize that material wealth and prestige do not bring lasting peace or happiness.  

Toward the end of his life, Robin Williams said that he used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone, only to realize that it is even worse to end up with people who make you feel alone. Read more

 

A Priceless Gift

On a program that I recently viewed, a highly likeable character explained that she wore a watch designed for those who are blind because she appreciates the constant reminder of the value in thinking about what life is like in another person's shoes.

Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, and in my book, is one of the most important virtues we can adopt into our beings.

To empathize requires that we put down the lens with which we view and process the world, and attempt to truly feel what another person is going through. Read more

 

If Allowed Only 10

Assume that you are allowed to make 10 investments over the course of your life. How much care will you put into making each of your allotted 10 choices, and once you've decided on which assets you wish to invest in, how much time will you spend caring for them?

Put another way, do you see yourself as being a trader, someone who hops in out of whatever is in or out of favour today, or are you an investor, a person who prefers to hold the best quality assets you can find for the rest of your life? Read more

 

How Much Alcohol Is Okay?

Updated on October 19, 2020

Approximately 11 million people in the United States and Canada use some form of sleep aid on a regular basis, with alcohol and antihistamines being two popular choices.

Contrary to popular belief, having a nightcap - 5 ounces of wine, 1-2 ounces of a distilled spirit like tequila, vodka, or whiskey, or 8-12 ounces of beer - does not improve sleep quality. In fact, having a nightcap actually takes away from the amount of restful sleep we experience. Read more

 

Zoom Out and Consider

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Look at the people you spend time with and consider which of them don't care how much money you have or don't have, what kind of car you drive, what you wear, what you've accomplished, or what you look like. Read more

 

Things We Can't See About Others

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Most children who grow up with immigrant parents have a few memories that they carry for the rest of their days. Read more

 

Striving To Carry Only What We Love

Heartfelt thanks to everyone who took time to share thoughtful notes of feedback in response to the mention of Abigail Shrier's book.  As anticipated, there were a few who disapproved of this mention but the many notes that came in expressing thanks for sharing this information leads me to believe that the vast majority of our readership appreciates the intention to increase awareness through honest conversation. Read more

 

Learning To Trust Our Instincts

As life continues to roll along, I'm realizing how important it is to trust my instincts with people - ignoring our gut feelings can lead to enormous heartache and wasted years.

It's a fact of life that some humans are intent on taking advantage of others.  They want you in their life only if they can consistently use you for their benefit with little to no thought of being a good friend in return.  And quite often, such people have enough interpersonal skills to fool most decent people into believing that they, too, are decent. Read more

 

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