You are here

Emotional Health and Well-Being

What Does A Truly Good Friend Look Like?

I've always loved the Korean word for friendship - it's pronounced "oo jung." There was a time in my 20s when oojung was actually the bulk of my e-mail address, back when gmail didn't exist and most of us were at yahoo or hotmail.

More than ever, I find myself considering what constitutes a healthy friendship, for my own well-being, and also to do what I can to help our boys understand what a truly good friend looks like. Read more

 

How to Forgive Someone Who Isn't Sorry

Originally posted in September 2019

From Our Mailbag:

Hi Dr. Ben,

I'm 59 years old and am hoping that you can help me with an issue that has been a heavy burden almost all my life. Read more

 

Dr. Shefali Tsabary on Conscious Parenting

Unbeknownst to her, Dr. Shefali is one of my most treasured mentors. Whenever I experience conflict with our boys, I find myself re-reading passages in The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family to try to figure out where I went wrong as a person and parent. Read more

 

Thoughts From a Former Tiger Mom

Dear Dr. Kim,

This is out of character for me but I feel compelled to write to you so I'm letting down my guard and following my heart.

I have much to be thankful for. I had responsible parents who took care of all my essential needs growing up. Being immigrants from China, they didn't believe in brand names and luxuries. They were all about buying only bare bones necessities and saving the rest for the future, including my university education. What my parents lacked in warmth they compensated for in making sure I was never going to be hungry or homeless. Read more

 

The Dark Side of Junior Tennis

On Saturday September 7th, 2019, the headlines across Canada and the global tennis world captured the incredible accomplishment of Bianca Andreescu, who at 19 years of age, became the first Canadian to win a Grand Slam singles title.  

Those who aren't familiar with what it takes to journey through the junior tennis world to have a chance of standing where Bianca Andreescu is today likely cannot imagine the dark side of such a trek.  

Here's a headline that you won't see from any media outlet: Read more

 

Portland-Area 8th Grader Changing The World One Painting At A Time

Much respect to Ryan Lomber, her teacher Ms. Emily Dehn, and the community at Twality Middle School in the greater Portland area for creating such a meaningful fundraiser for Packed With Pride, a food box program that helps ensure students in the Tigard-Tualatin School district don't go hungry. Read more

 

Would You Rather Be Rich or Valuable?

A friend once told me that if we were to gather up all of the money in the world - some 400 trillion US dollars - and distribute it equally among the global human population, within a decade, all of this money would flow in a way where we would end up with about the same level of inequality that we have today.

For obvious reasons, we could never carry out such an experiment, but I feel there is merit to the idea that money does not flow randomly and without reason. While there are rare outlying scenarios, generally, money flows toward things that are valuable. Read more

 

A Memorable Croissant

The other day while I was typing away on my laptop at a local Starbucks, I noticed an elderly lady sitting on her own with a cup of coffee and a fresh croissant in front of her. Her unassuming yet graceful presence stood out against a backdrop of lively students, friends meeting up for coffee, and an eclectic bunch working on their laptops. There was an elegant but palpably melancholic energy about her. Read more

 

Thoughts on Parenting

Untitled

Originally posted in January of 2017.

In walking along the icy shoreline of Lake Simcoe with our firstborn in late December, I found myself feeling grateful for having lived long enough to know that our boys will remember me no matter what happens from here on out. This was my greatest wish from the time this young fellow arrived into our arms in 2005.

Today, my new greatest wish is that our boys grow up to feel that they can come to me to talk about anything. No matter how grave their concern, how intense their anger, disappointment, or sadness - even if I am a root cause of their suffering - I hope I will have built up enough trust in my emotional bank account with them that they want to share and discuss their feelings, knowing that I will do my best to understand them. Read more

 

All That I Need

Originally shared at our Facebook page in early 2016.

Our younger son, now 8, has been denying me bear hugs and kisses since he was about 3 - I guess there is a part of him that feels like he is too grown up for public displays of affection, especially in front of his friends.

I've taken solace in our tradition - started earlier this year - of making eye contact and exchanging a wave as he trots into school with his Charlie Brown-like friends. No matter how large the crowd of friends, the moment before he disappears through the entrance, he looks back to find my face and gives me a solid wave with his tiny hand. I've come to realize that this little moment of connection is confirmation that behind his spirit of independence is a tender heart that loves deeply and knows how much he is loved. Read more

 

Pages

 
 

Join more than 80,000 readers worldwide who receive Dr. Ben Kim's newsletter

Receive simple suggestions to improve your health and mobility, plus alerts on specials and giveaways at our catalogue.