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Emotional Health and Well-Being

How Much Alcohol Is Okay?

Updated on October 19, 2020

Approximately 11 million people in the United States and Canada use some form of sleep aid on a regular basis, with alcohol and antihistamines being two popular choices.

Contrary to popular belief, having a nightcap - 5 ounces of wine, 1-2 ounces of a distilled spirit like tequila, vodka, or whiskey, or 8-12 ounces of beer - does not improve sleep quality. In fact, having a nightcap actually takes away from the amount of restful sleep we experience. Read more

 

Zoom Out and Consider

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Look at the people you spend time with and consider which of them don't care how much money you have or don't have, what kind of car you drive, what you wear, what you've accomplished, or what you look like. Read more

 

Things We Can't See About Others

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Most children who grow up with immigrant parents have a few memories that they carry for the rest of their days. Read more

 

Striving To Carry Only What We Love

Heartfelt thanks to everyone who took time to share thoughtful notes of feedback in response to the mention of Abigail Shrier's book.  As anticipated, there were a few who disapproved of this mention but the many notes that came in expressing thanks for sharing this information leads me to believe that the vast majority of our readership appreciates the intention to increase awareness through honest conversation. Read more

 

Learning To Trust Our Instincts

As life continues to roll along, I'm realizing how important it is to trust my instincts with people - ignoring our gut feelings can lead to enormous heartache and wasted years.

It's a fact of life that some humans are intent on taking advantage of others.  They want you in their life only if they can consistently use you for their benefit with little to no thought of being a good friend in return.  And quite often, such people have enough interpersonal skills to fool most decent people into believing that they, too, are decent. Read more

 

How to Deal With Freeloading Moochers

From Our Mailbag:

Hi Dr. Kim,

I read with interest your article on Jason and people like him who frequently take advantage of others. I've been struggling with this very issue for several years, wanting to be helpful to a friend and wanting to see the best in him, but with passage of time and countless disheartening "favors" I've realized that this person will not stop taking advantage of me until I put an end to it. Read more

 

Would Those In Our Circle Of Life Choose Us In Another Lifetime?

Widespread stay-at-home policies are leading to an increase in domestic violence all over the globe.  

This is a sad reality that social workers and first responders are well aware of - statistics indicate that whenever families spend more time together, domestic violence increases.   Read more

 

What If We Knew Everyone's Date of Death?

What if we could see everyone's date of death in an imaginary bubble above their head?

How would knowing the day that people will die impact the way we see and treat them?

Take a moment to think about the people around you, those you know best.  Are you consistently treating them as you would if you knew the precise day when they will be gone?

What would you change about your approach to life if you knew your own date of expiration and that of those around you? Read more

 

The Power of a Heartfelt Apology

Updated on February 6, 2020

If I can share just one bit of relationship advice to our sons before I no longer have much influence on their development, it is this:

A genuine apology from the heart can heal, nourish, and inspire in ways that no amount of money or counselling can.

I feel this holds true in every type of relationship, including between life partners, parents and their children, friends, work colleagues, teachers and students, and businesses and their clients. Based on my life experiences thus far, I've come to believe that many humans don't appreciate the value of delivering a heartfelt sorry.

In the moment that we realize that we have made a mistake or we are told by someone that we have hurt their feelings, whether our mistake was purposeful or inadvertent, do we have the emotional intelligence to process our mistake, take full responsibility for it, and deliver a genuine apology? Read more

 

Jonathan Haidt on Social Media-Driven Anxiety Among Kids

For more of Jonathan Haidt's thoughts on a number of pressing current issues, I highly recommend the following book:

The Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure Read more

 

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