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What To Do When A Loved One Is Chronically Negative

Posted by Dr. Ben Kim on Nov 14, 2019
Emotional Health and Well-Being

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Dear Dr. Ben,

This was such a wonderful, delicate yet at the same time powerful read.

Among many insights in your post, the biggest gift for me this time was being able to connect the dots in my own life, as you shared that you don't talk with your parents about your hopes and dreams or any important decisions. I finally realized why the dynamic with my mom has been so complicated, especially since I began living more consciously. I always had such a deep desire to connect with my mom and share my life with her, but after sharing I usually have to spend so much time coping with her energy of fear and doubt. It feels so discouraging... I have realized that because she is not working on her own wounds, she will not be able to understand my increasing inner freedom and desire to act in accordance to my heart voice.  Read more

 

Sometimes You Just Have To Say Good-Bye

Posted by Dr. Ben Kim on Sep 25, 2019
Emotional Health and Well-Being

When I was in graduate school, I was lucky to be grouped with a fellow intern who I'll call Jason. Not lucky as in blessed to have a friend who I enjoyed spending time with; lucky as in fortunate to learn what I should stay away from.

I'm not going to attempt to be generous in my recollection of Jason. He was a prototypical user, someone whose idea of being a good friend was gracing you with his good looks over lunch in exchange for you picking up the tab. Read more

 

Powerful Things to Say to Your Kids

Posted by Dr. Ben Kim on Aug 09, 2019
Emotional Health and Well-Being

Originally posted in November of 2012

I've long believed that the words we choose in everyday conversation and correspondence play a significant role in shaping our relationships.

For example, from the time that our boys began asking questions to which some parents might answer "because I said so," Margaret and I have tried to preface our answers with "because from my experience, that would lead to..." Read more

 

The Pursuit of Wealth and Prestige

Posted by Dr. Ben Kim on Jul 24, 2019
Emotional Health and Well-Being

Today, it's become somewhat normal to continually pursue things that we think will help us feel better.

More money, splashy vacations, a trophy spouse, trophy kids - you name it, the vast majority of us humans chase after these things that the monkey brain tells us will bring security, recognition, and happiness that supposedly comes with.

Ironically, the more we chase after things that we feel will make us happier, if we truthfully look deep within, we know that we aren't any happier or fulfilled. Read more

 

When Our Loved Ones Suffer

Posted by Dr. Ben Kim on Jun 10, 2019
Emotional Health and Well-Being

When a loved one experiences something hurtful and is suffering, I think the instinct for most of us is to identify silver linings and do what we can to fix things.

As a parent to 13 and 11-year old boys, I've come to feel that while there is value in trying to be helpful when they are feeling down, what I'd most like to do beyond offering empathy and a comforting presence is to have them feel the belief that I have in them to eventually find a way to a better place, to transcend their suffering through their own thoughts and efforts. Read more

 

That Magic Finger

Posted by Dr. Ben Kim on Jun 04, 2019
Emotional Health and Well-Being

Originally posted in May of 2015

From the time our older son was a toddler, he has shown a disposition for sport. Though quite shy by nature, when it comes time to run and hit fuzzy balls, his eyes sparkle and he exudes the kind of joy that I imagine all parents wish upon their children.

As he has grown to love competing on the tennis court, as a family, we have struggled to figure out how to deal with those who blatantly cheat. It's the dirty little secret of the junior tennis world, only it isn't a secret at all. In this gladiatorial sport that often involves the one-on-one intensity of boxing, there are some families who simply don't mind their children cheating others for a win. Our son is now 9 years old and we have been witness to ruthless repeated cheating by kids who clearly know better, all while their parents stand by with their steely gazes, clearly not bothered that their children are robbing others of their hard work. Read more

 

What Most Physicians and Researchers Won't Tell You About Your Health

Posted by Dr. Ben Kim on Apr 05, 2019
Emotional Health and Well-Being

Updated on April 5, 2019

Once in a while, I receive requests for references to back up some of information on self health care that I share throughout this website. If a post doesn't have citations for published studies, some people refuse to consider its contents. Believe it or not, some of these folks get downright ornery about this issue.

My response is two-fold: Read more

 

Why I Moved to Korea in my late 20s

Posted by Dr. Ben Kim on Jan 31, 2019
Emotional Health and Well-Being

One of our readers requested notes with our vlogs for those who prefer reading rather than listening. Maddie's question along with notes written to summarize what was covered in the vlog are included below.

Shared with permission:

Dear Dr. Kim, Read more

 

Anger is a Secondary Emotion

Posted by Dr. Ben Kim on Oct 22, 2018
Emotional Health and Well-Being

Last week, I shared a strategy for overcoming emotional wounds and being able to authentically forgive someone who we feel has wronged us. In a nutshell, the strategy is to shift our focus to things we wish to be forgiven for.

I was moved and inspired to receive a few hundred messages from people who had wonderful insight to share. Here is a portion of one of these messages that really hit me as being true and helpful to remember when we are at the receiving end of a person's anger: Read more

 

Lori Harder on the Value of Hitting Rock Bottom

Posted by Dr. Ben Kim on Sep 15, 2018
Emotional Health and Well-Being

There are many valuable insights on conscious living within this interview. If your time is limited, I encourage you to click on the video timeline to about the 40:40 mark where Lori shares her thoughts on gossip.

Many thanks to Lori and Tom. May we all embrace our rock bottom moments. Read more

 

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